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Monday, August 22, 2005

Remarkable Obituary: Death of Common sense

(Author Unknown.)
Remarkable Obituary:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense. Mr Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for certain how old he was, as his birth records were lost long ago because of bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began rapidly deteriorating when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place: Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened Mr. Sense's condition.

Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have her baby aborted!
Finally, Mr. Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Mr. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to understand that a steaming cup of coffee should not be put between her legs, especially while driving a car. She spilled it in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Mr. & Mrs. Truth, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He is survived by a stepbrother and a stepsister; Mr. My Rights and Mz. Ima Whiner.

Very few people attended Mr. Common Sense's funeral because so few realized he was gone.